The Goalie Is Late: Protocol
It happens. Family things come up. Traffic. Work. Whatever. Sometimes your goalie is late.
First, check the locker rooms to see if someone who just came off is willing to play for a few more minutes (often someone will stand up). Sometimes that doesn't work.
Ok, so your guy is in the dressing room, but no one's there to help out.
(1) Call a timeout before the first face off. That will give you an extra 1:30 or so.
(2) The other team should call a timeout, too. First, because goals scored against no goalie are suspect, and second because it isn't much fun playing against a goalie-less team because you feel like a chump if you're actually trying to score (and you basically are).
(3) Still waiting, both timeouts burned, gotta get a sixth guy out there. Now, don't have him skate like an extra attacker. If you do, you deserve every goal scored against you (and if you're the other team, put in a couple of empty-netters if that's how their going to play it).
(4) Get as many stoppages of play as possible. Ice the puck. Take it in offsides on purpose (but not too obviously or you'll get the faceoff down where you have no goalie). You've gotta burn time for your guy to get dressed and get out there.
Now, what about the other team? We've already covered taking their timeout. What about shooting? The opposition has a skater playing goal, so you've got to back off a little, but how much? Well, taking slappers from the point seems right out. Seriously.
I was the sixth guy the other night, and I stopped two slapshots. One in the chest (note: my shoulder pads "chest protector" was not designed as a goalie's chest protector), one a "blocker" save. But come on, guys, was that really necessary? How about trying to work it down low and get a decent wrister off?
And look, if you see the goalie waiting for a whistle, regardless of which team you're on, get the whistle. It's not cool to exploit the lack of a goaltender, and if you're the team playing with the sixth guy, it's not cool for the sixth guy.
Anyway . . . some etiquette to think about.
First, check the locker rooms to see if someone who just came off is willing to play for a few more minutes (often someone will stand up). Sometimes that doesn't work.
Ok, so your guy is in the dressing room, but no one's there to help out.
(1) Call a timeout before the first face off. That will give you an extra 1:30 or so.
(2) The other team should call a timeout, too. First, because goals scored against no goalie are suspect, and second because it isn't much fun playing against a goalie-less team because you feel like a chump if you're actually trying to score (and you basically are).
(3) Still waiting, both timeouts burned, gotta get a sixth guy out there. Now, don't have him skate like an extra attacker. If you do, you deserve every goal scored against you (and if you're the other team, put in a couple of empty-netters if that's how their going to play it).
(4) Get as many stoppages of play as possible. Ice the puck. Take it in offsides on purpose (but not too obviously or you'll get the faceoff down where you have no goalie). You've gotta burn time for your guy to get dressed and get out there.
Now, what about the other team? We've already covered taking their timeout. What about shooting? The opposition has a skater playing goal, so you've got to back off a little, but how much? Well, taking slappers from the point seems right out. Seriously.
I was the sixth guy the other night, and I stopped two slapshots. One in the chest (note: my shoulder pads "chest protector" was not designed as a goalie's chest protector), one a "blocker" save. But come on, guys, was that really necessary? How about trying to work it down low and get a decent wrister off?
And look, if you see the goalie waiting for a whistle, regardless of which team you're on, get the whistle. It's not cool to exploit the lack of a goaltender, and if you're the team playing with the sixth guy, it's not cool for the sixth guy.
Anyway . . . some etiquette to think about.
[Bizarre] Rights of Summer
I know this isn't the first time I've mentioned it, but managing summer hockey can really be a pain in the ass. To deal with the comings and goings, we've bumped our roster from 15 (14 skaters and a goalie), to 20 (18 skaters, 2 goalies), and we still struggle to get two full lines. The other night was a microcosm of summer hockey:
3 guys on IR
1 guy on vacation
6 maybes (two showed)
1 guy had to be at work too early for the late game
So with 18 skaters on the roster, we had 9.
One of the goalies had a last minute family commitment, but we couldn't reach the other one. And our backup was out of town, too. So the first came, took an emotional beating from the family, and showed up late.
So we start the game with eight skaters (another was running late) and no goalie. The other team did the right thing and took a timeout (after ours) to start the game. That gave us as much extra time as possible, but it still wasn't enough (and by the way, that's the right thing to do). We finally get a goalie on the ice about 5 minutes in (remarkably without giving up a goal.
At the end of the first period one of our guys needs to drop a load, so he misses the last 5 minutes of the period. Who does he think he is, Manny Ramirez? WTF!?!
On top of it all, for the first time ever, I forgot my skates. I live 25 minutes from the rink, so there was no going home for them. Luckily one of the guys lives close and has an extra pair. His wife drove them over to us and I laced 'em up. They were more or less the right size, but O-L-D! No ankle support left, dull blades, and my skates are rocked a little forward and these weren't. I was like a rookie peewee out there. I couldn't accelerate, couldn't turn, couldn't stop, and could barely skate backwards. Lovely. And I remember thinking as I left my garage, "huh, bag feels a little light tonight." Dumbass. I was one of our three D, so I was out there a bunch. God help me if I make that mistake again.
We won. We were playing a team that isn't as good as us. But it was sloppy throughout.
Ah, summer hockey.
3 guys on IR
1 guy on vacation
6 maybes (two showed)
1 guy had to be at work too early for the late game
So with 18 skaters on the roster, we had 9.
One of the goalies had a last minute family commitment, but we couldn't reach the other one. And our backup was out of town, too. So the first came, took an emotional beating from the family, and showed up late.
So we start the game with eight skaters (another was running late) and no goalie. The other team did the right thing and took a timeout (after ours) to start the game. That gave us as much extra time as possible, but it still wasn't enough (and by the way, that's the right thing to do). We finally get a goalie on the ice about 5 minutes in (remarkably without giving up a goal.
At the end of the first period one of our guys needs to drop a load, so he misses the last 5 minutes of the period. Who does he think he is, Manny Ramirez? WTF!?!
On top of it all, for the first time ever, I forgot my skates. I live 25 minutes from the rink, so there was no going home for them. Luckily one of the guys lives close and has an extra pair. His wife drove them over to us and I laced 'em up. They were more or less the right size, but O-L-D! No ankle support left, dull blades, and my skates are rocked a little forward and these weren't. I was like a rookie peewee out there. I couldn't accelerate, couldn't turn, couldn't stop, and could barely skate backwards. Lovely. And I remember thinking as I left my garage, "huh, bag feels a little light tonight." Dumbass. I was one of our three D, so I was out there a bunch. God help me if I make that mistake again.
We won. We were playing a team that isn't as good as us. But it was sloppy throughout.
Ah, summer hockey.
Cage vs. Shield?
So, I'm on record opposing the half-shield; it's a good way to get your jaw broken, lose a tooth, or even get a nasty eye wound. It's better than nothing, but worse than reason. Anyway, that's not the point. I was watching some of the NCAA hockey tournament and I got to thinking, what ever happened to the full shield? That's what all the college players wore back in the early 90s. The cage was considered old and clunky. Now you rarely see a full shield, and the college kids are all back to the cage. What happened there?
The Guys
I suspect most rosters look a lot like ours (guys often fill more than one of these roles):
Old Man River: skills are fading, but he's a good dude and no one wants to see him go. Maybe not so good for the penalty kill, but great for a beer in the parking lot. Seriously, it's rec hockey; what's more important?
The Kid: Hockey players are a little crazy as a rule, and the Kid is always the craziest. No one remembers having quite as much fun as he claims when they were young and single, but he has fresh legs and talent, so a little crazy won't hurt anyone.
Meathead: "Let's play some #@!&ing hockey!" Sure buddy, but you'd play a lot more if you didn't spend so much time in the box.
Canadian: For US rec teams, you gotta have a Canadian, better yet, a French Canadian. Ok, or a Czech, or a Russian, or a Swede. Somebody from one of those hockey playin' countries. At least Minnesota. Maybe he's not a ringer, but he's good . . . and a little off.
Flaky Star: when he's there, he's money. Problem is he isn't always there. Normally has a temper, too.
Captain Serious: the rec hockey captain who takes everything too seriously. He's not a great player, but he organizes things, so you're happy to have him. But seriously, guy, we're not going to learn the breakout without practicing, and that's not happening any time soon. Might go so far as to write an occasional blog post about hockey.
Crazy Goalie: they're all different . . . and they're all a little off in one way or another. But worldwide they have the same name: Crazy Goalie.
Glory Seeker: This guy wants to bury the puck and will do anything in his power to do so . . . as long as it doesn't include passing to a teammate.
Quiet Hero: solid, team player, scores, passes, plays defense. Keeps his mouth shut. Broods when things are going badly.
The Fuse: good player, libel to explode in rage at any moment. Sometimes it's a long fuse, sometimes it's short, but when it goes? Look out.
Rink Rat: plays for you, plays for them, plays for some other guys, too. Just likes to play. The secret? No wife or kids.
Late Skate McGee: You mean I'm supposed to be here in time for the warm-ups? Please.
The Drinker: we all have a beer after the game, but this guy doesn't stop at one. In fact, you wonder if he stops at four, but you're rarely around late enough to find out
The Mouth: quick to let you know what you're doing wrong. That's not to say that he's doing it right, just that you're doing it wrong.
The Big Defenseman: maybe he has skills, maybe not, but he's big, and he'll run you over if you come near his crease.
The Instigator: maybe he's the Fuse, but often not; he's pesky in the corners at all times. When you're playing against him he's irritating. Sometimes enough to take a dumb penalty just to vent some frustration.
Just Happy to be Here: shows up, plays hockey, drinks a beer. What, you need more than that?
Old Man River: skills are fading, but he's a good dude and no one wants to see him go. Maybe not so good for the penalty kill, but great for a beer in the parking lot. Seriously, it's rec hockey; what's more important?
The Kid: Hockey players are a little crazy as a rule, and the Kid is always the craziest. No one remembers having quite as much fun as he claims when they were young and single, but he has fresh legs and talent, so a little crazy won't hurt anyone.
Meathead: "Let's play some #@!&ing hockey!" Sure buddy, but you'd play a lot more if you didn't spend so much time in the box.
Canadian: For US rec teams, you gotta have a Canadian, better yet, a French Canadian. Ok, or a Czech, or a Russian, or a Swede. Somebody from one of those hockey playin' countries. At least Minnesota. Maybe he's not a ringer, but he's good . . . and a little off.
Flaky Star: when he's there, he's money. Problem is he isn't always there. Normally has a temper, too.
Captain Serious: the rec hockey captain who takes everything too seriously. He's not a great player, but he organizes things, so you're happy to have him. But seriously, guy, we're not going to learn the breakout without practicing, and that's not happening any time soon. Might go so far as to write an occasional blog post about hockey.
Crazy Goalie: they're all different . . . and they're all a little off in one way or another. But worldwide they have the same name: Crazy Goalie.
Glory Seeker: This guy wants to bury the puck and will do anything in his power to do so . . . as long as it doesn't include passing to a teammate.
Quiet Hero: solid, team player, scores, passes, plays defense. Keeps his mouth shut. Broods when things are going badly.
The Fuse: good player, libel to explode in rage at any moment. Sometimes it's a long fuse, sometimes it's short, but when it goes? Look out.
Rink Rat: plays for you, plays for them, plays for some other guys, too. Just likes to play. The secret? No wife or kids.
Late Skate McGee: You mean I'm supposed to be here in time for the warm-ups? Please.
The Drinker: we all have a beer after the game, but this guy doesn't stop at one. In fact, you wonder if he stops at four, but you're rarely around late enough to find out
The Mouth: quick to let you know what you're doing wrong. That's not to say that he's doing it right, just that you're doing it wrong.
The Big Defenseman: maybe he has skills, maybe not, but he's big, and he'll run you over if you come near his crease.
The Instigator: maybe he's the Fuse, but often not; he's pesky in the corners at all times. When you're playing against him he's irritating. Sometimes enough to take a dumb penalty just to vent some frustration.
Just Happy to be Here: shows up, plays hockey, drinks a beer. What, you need more than that?
Playoffs!
There was a time my team was cursed. We went five seasons in a row without winning a playoff game. In four of those five years we finished towards the middle of the pack, so played another middle of the pack team. The fifth year we sucked, so losing to a much higher seed was no surprise.
Was our mentality wrong? Our defense too soft? Who knows. I remember one of those years we thoroughly outplayed our opponent. On the way to the parking lot after the game one of their guys says to me, "we were just waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never did." No kidding.
Whatever the problem, last year we finally won a playoff game. It wasn't the panacea -- we lost our second game to "the ringer" -- but maybe it was a breakthrough. We won our summer league, winning a 1-goal game, then a shootout in the semi-final (a game we never led, if I remember correctly), a shootout in the first game of the finals (13-shots per side in the shootout; another game we never led), and a 1-goal game to finish it (our league plays a 3-game finals).
Well, it's time for the playoffs again. We finished middle of the pack again, so face another team we're right in the middle with. We were 2-0-1 against them (2-1-1 if you count the "preseason") during the season, but they scare me. They can score in bunches whereas our team has a nasty habit of going through long scoring droughts.
On top of that, we'll have everyone there, which almost never happens. So we have to run through an almost overfull bench (14 skaters: 5 D and 3 forward lines). This has only happened once all season, and we lost that game. To an inferior team.
So we're mostly in our 30s and 40s, but we're getting all psyched up for a rec-hockey playoff game. Good times.
Was our mentality wrong? Our defense too soft? Who knows. I remember one of those years we thoroughly outplayed our opponent. On the way to the parking lot after the game one of their guys says to me, "we were just waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never did." No kidding.
Whatever the problem, last year we finally won a playoff game. It wasn't the panacea -- we lost our second game to "the ringer" -- but maybe it was a breakthrough. We won our summer league, winning a 1-goal game, then a shootout in the semi-final (a game we never led, if I remember correctly), a shootout in the first game of the finals (13-shots per side in the shootout; another game we never led), and a 1-goal game to finish it (our league plays a 3-game finals).
Well, it's time for the playoffs again. We finished middle of the pack again, so face another team we're right in the middle with. We were 2-0-1 against them (2-1-1 if you count the "preseason") during the season, but they scare me. They can score in bunches whereas our team has a nasty habit of going through long scoring droughts.
On top of that, we'll have everyone there, which almost never happens. So we have to run through an almost overfull bench (14 skaters: 5 D and 3 forward lines). This has only happened once all season, and we lost that game. To an inferior team.
So we're mostly in our 30s and 40s, but we're getting all psyched up for a rec-hockey playoff game. Good times.
Don't Rub It In
Blowouts. Nasty when you're on the receiving end of one. Just as bad to deliver it? Every time my team has taken someone to the woodshed in the last few years we've been rewarded for it with a terrible run for the next few games. It's regular as clockwork: crush someone, serve a kharmic penalty. Or is it that in scoring all those goals we blew our wad? Does it ratchet up our confidence too high? Whatever it is, it sucks.
I'm not talking a 5-1 convincing win. I'm talking a thrashing: 8-1, 10-2. Real blowouts. The kind of game where everyone just wants it over with about 10 minutes to play. You worry about fights. You worry about injuries. You worry about people thinking you guys are jerks for running up the score.
It happened to us again this season. We're 4-2-1, playing the worst team in the division and we break out a can of whup-ass. It didn't actually feel like we were outplaying them that badly, but I guess we were. It went into the record books as a 9-1 shellacking, and to be honest, the one goal didn't go in the net (I was standing right there; it wasn't in). So now we're 5-2-1. What happens next? Scoring drought. Six atrocious, painful, bloody games without a win and with precious few goals. Thank goodness we managed a come-from-behind 4-4 tie and another 1-1 tie. 0-4-2. Brutal.
At the end of the stretch we again faced the team we'd blown out 7 games before. In the meantime they began to get a little better (winning their first two games of the season). Instead of another blowout, we won a close game. And our kharma came back. We're playing decent hockey again.
The question remains: at some point you know it's a blowout; what do you do to prevent the inevitable slide? Stop shooting?
I'm not talking a 5-1 convincing win. I'm talking a thrashing: 8-1, 10-2. Real blowouts. The kind of game where everyone just wants it over with about 10 minutes to play. You worry about fights. You worry about injuries. You worry about people thinking you guys are jerks for running up the score.
It happened to us again this season. We're 4-2-1, playing the worst team in the division and we break out a can of whup-ass. It didn't actually feel like we were outplaying them that badly, but I guess we were. It went into the record books as a 9-1 shellacking, and to be honest, the one goal didn't go in the net (I was standing right there; it wasn't in). So now we're 5-2-1. What happens next? Scoring drought. Six atrocious, painful, bloody games without a win and with precious few goals. Thank goodness we managed a come-from-behind 4-4 tie and another 1-1 tie. 0-4-2. Brutal.
At the end of the stretch we again faced the team we'd blown out 7 games before. In the meantime they began to get a little better (winning their first two games of the season). Instead of another blowout, we won a close game. And our kharma came back. We're playing decent hockey again.
The question remains: at some point you know it's a blowout; what do you do to prevent the inevitable slide? Stop shooting?
Pond Hockey? Not Here.
Been away from this little project for a while, but figured I'd populate it with some good stuff friends have sent me.
Next week is the US Pond Hockey Championships in Minnesota. Now, there are days I'm jealous of guys walking their skates to the local pond to lace-up and play a quick game of shinny. Then there are days like today, January 16th, where I look out my office window at a gorgeous day in the 50s, without a cloud in the sky, a calm San Francisco Bay, and look forward to riding my bike back to the train station to head home at the end of the work day.
But someday I'll get to the Pond Hockey championships. Sounds like fun.
Next week is the US Pond Hockey Championships in Minnesota. Now, there are days I'm jealous of guys walking their skates to the local pond to lace-up and play a quick game of shinny. Then there are days like today, January 16th, where I look out my office window at a gorgeous day in the 50s, without a cloud in the sky, a calm San Francisco Bay, and look forward to riding my bike back to the train station to head home at the end of the work day.
But someday I'll get to the Pond Hockey championships. Sounds like fun.
He's a Hockey Player.
I know I just covered this, but it bears repeating. Hockey players are different.
When my pre-school aged daughter takes a tumble, knocks her head, pinches a finger in a door, whatever, then shakes it off, we smile and say, "she's a hockey player." She says it, too. "I'm ok. I'm a hockey player."
That's no joke. The other day, I limped off the ice with three minutes to go in a game that was basically decided and I called it a night. A hard smack on my knee, and I'm still having trouble with stairs. Hey, it was a fun game, and no doubt worth it, but not going back on the ice calls my cred into question.
Our goaltender? (A different one, this time.) He's a hockey player. Three weeks ago, early in the second period, he's facing a 1-on-0, the forward rockets a shot high to the stick side, and our guy makes a sweet save, getting just enough of it to knock it down. But now it's dangling there, just beside him, as the forward speeds in, to tap it home. Our goalie does what any netminder would do, and dives on it, gloves first, making the second save. As luck would have it, he gets his finger stuck between his stick and the ice. Ouch. Sure enough, it's bleeding profusely and hurts like a mother. He comes to the bench, someone grabs some white athletic tape (no guaze or anything), and he tapes the blood in. A little later he has someone tape his pinkie and his ring finger (the bloody one) together, becuase he's having a hard time holding his stick.
He plays the remainder of the game, giving up only one more goal as we hang on for the win. Next stop, the hospital.
Move over Donovan McNabb -- you were getting paid big money to play that football game on a broken ankle. Our guy played two periods of REC HOCKEY on a broken finger and torn nail. For free.
He's a hockey player.
When my pre-school aged daughter takes a tumble, knocks her head, pinches a finger in a door, whatever, then shakes it off, we smile and say, "she's a hockey player." She says it, too. "I'm ok. I'm a hockey player."
That's no joke. The other day, I limped off the ice with three minutes to go in a game that was basically decided and I called it a night. A hard smack on my knee, and I'm still having trouble with stairs. Hey, it was a fun game, and no doubt worth it, but not going back on the ice calls my cred into question.
Our goaltender? (A different one, this time.) He's a hockey player. Three weeks ago, early in the second period, he's facing a 1-on-0, the forward rockets a shot high to the stick side, and our guy makes a sweet save, getting just enough of it to knock it down. But now it's dangling there, just beside him, as the forward speeds in, to tap it home. Our goalie does what any netminder would do, and dives on it, gloves first, making the second save. As luck would have it, he gets his finger stuck between his stick and the ice. Ouch. Sure enough, it's bleeding profusely and hurts like a mother. He comes to the bench, someone grabs some white athletic tape (no guaze or anything), and he tapes the blood in. A little later he has someone tape his pinkie and his ring finger (the bloody one) together, becuase he's having a hard time holding his stick.
He plays the remainder of the game, giving up only one more goal as we hang on for the win. Next stop, the hospital.
Move over Donovan McNabb -- you were getting paid big money to play that football game on a broken ankle. Our guy played two periods of REC HOCKEY on a broken finger and torn nail. For free.
He's a hockey player.
Speaking of Ringers and Fancy Sticks
Gotta love the Downholers . . .
Love the mixed-league softball reference, too. Classic.
Love the mixed-league softball reference, too. Classic.
Hockey Fan vs Hockey Player
Most recreational hockey players are hockey fans, too, but . . .
this is a hockey fan:
these are hockey players:
What's the difference? Fundamentally, there's one: hockey players like to watch hockey, but would rather play; hockey fans just watch.
My brother-in-law is Canadian. Grew up in Windsor, but the Leafs and the Wings were so bad, he became a fan of Les Habs. And what self-respecting Canadian isn't? Anyway, he's played shinny a few times in his life, but he knows the NHL. Knows it well. We talk hockey a lot, but the funny thing is we're mostly talking past each other as I know the game, but he knows the league.
Our old goaltender (and frequent sub -- bless him!) is a player. And he proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt this Spring. Our goaltender was going to miss the first two games of the playoffs, so we called our sub. He graciously played game 1, and played brilliantly, as we won 2-1. So on to game two. I give him a call, "hey man, our guy won't be back, can you help us out?"
Problem is, he's a season ticket holder for the Sharks and has playoff tickets to game 2 of their first round series with the Flames. Initially he balks, but he calls me back, "I've talked it over with [his fiance]. If that's the only game we get tickets to, then I probably wouldn't want to see it anyway. I'll skate for you guys." Now that's hard core. He turned down an NHL playoff game on the theory that if that were the only game he got tickets to it was because the Sharks blew their first round series, and who would want to see that, anyway? Turns out he was kind of right. The Sharks lost that game, but won the series. So he got to see another game (a win, I think) before he got to see them tank in round two.
And for all that, we rewarded him . . . by playing no defense in a 6-0 shellacking. "Hey, thanks for helping us out!" [Sigh.]
But he's a hockey player. He didn't mind . . . (I hope).
this is a hockey fan:
these are hockey players:
What's the difference? Fundamentally, there's one: hockey players like to watch hockey, but would rather play; hockey fans just watch.
My brother-in-law is Canadian. Grew up in Windsor, but the Leafs and the Wings were so bad, he became a fan of Les Habs. And what self-respecting Canadian isn't? Anyway, he's played shinny a few times in his life, but he knows the NHL. Knows it well. We talk hockey a lot, but the funny thing is we're mostly talking past each other as I know the game, but he knows the league.
Our old goaltender (and frequent sub -- bless him!) is a player. And he proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt this Spring. Our goaltender was going to miss the first two games of the playoffs, so we called our sub. He graciously played game 1, and played brilliantly, as we won 2-1. So on to game two. I give him a call, "hey man, our guy won't be back, can you help us out?"
Problem is, he's a season ticket holder for the Sharks and has playoff tickets to game 2 of their first round series with the Flames. Initially he balks, but he calls me back, "I've talked it over with [his fiance]. If that's the only game we get tickets to, then I probably wouldn't want to see it anyway. I'll skate for you guys." Now that's hard core. He turned down an NHL playoff game on the theory that if that were the only game he got tickets to it was because the Sharks blew their first round series, and who would want to see that, anyway? Turns out he was kind of right. The Sharks lost that game, but won the series. So he got to see another game (a win, I think) before he got to see them tank in round two.
And for all that, we rewarded him . . . by playing no defense in a 6-0 shellacking. "Hey, thanks for helping us out!" [Sigh.]
But he's a hockey player. He didn't mind . . . (I hope).
The Ringer
Player for player you're better than them. There's no doubt. You watch the play unfold: you own the ice, your goaltender's bored, the action is in their end, this game is yours.
But there he is. No facemask. Old skates. Tattered gloves. Mismatched old practice sweater. He intercepts a pass. He makes a quick turn away from the first challenger. He streaks up the ice, past your trailing centerman. He is challenged again at the center-line. A quick flick of the wrists and twist of the hips, and he's by the next man. He crosses the blue line, your defensemen converge on him, he winds up his blast from the face-off circle, your goaltender begins his butterfly, he . . . swings a deft pass to the slacker, untalented left wing skating unmolested to the far post, who taps in the open net goal.
He makes bad teams good, mediocre teams great, and good teams advance to the next division. Yes, friends, he's the Ringer. He plays at every level except the top (where they are all Ringers).
When he plays for you, you love him. When he plays against you, you fear him and despise his mates. "Why does he play for them?" "Sweet, he's playing for us tonight." "Isn't he bored?" "He gives us the edge we need." "He's an A player, he shouldn't be here." "Everyone's got one, who are they to complain?"
Now, there are two kinds of ringers. The one brought in for one game, and the one who is on your roster. The former is the more distasteful, to my mind. The latter? Maybe the team is just trying to get better. Of course, if he sticks around long enough and the rest of the team doesn't get any better, the resentment builds.
We play in an intermediate division. There are no true beginners in our league. Most teams have one or two guys who are truly playing below their level. The frustrating thing is that last season's "best" team really wasn't. Instead, they had the best two players, then a bunch of mediocre guys. Although player-for-player, they were probably the 5th best team (out of 6), they only lost 3 games all season. I take pleasure in the fact that in the end, they lost the finals (in a two-game sweep) to the team that really is, player-for-player the best in the league (and has one ringer of their own).
It's frustrating to lose to a team when you're beating most of their guys, but can't beat their best player. When you win with one of these guys, you justify it in one way or another: the reality is there is a range of players at every level. You play with the guys you do because you know and like them. So one guy played in college, one guy played in high school, one guy played shinny on local ponds, and one guy just switched over from a couple of years of roller hockey. That's just how it is. So, "My friend is a really good player. We play together because we're friends."
At lower levels, speed is the difference. A fast player can beat a tripod without much effort. The higher the level the less speed plays a role, the more hands do. Our last true ringer wasn't that fast. Probably five guys on our team were faster, some much faster, but he could make the puck dance, and find the open man or the back of the net with ease. Those are some of the most frustrating ringers. You can keep with them, they don't seem that great, but you just can't pry the puck away, which means you are always standing right there when the goal is scored. At least when they blow by you you know there was nothing you could do.
Love him, hate him, the Ringer is here to stay. If he's on your team, make sure you find open space in front of the opposing net, to give him options when the other team converges on him. When you play against him, get a big early lead to get him bored and frustrated.
What's going on in the mind of the Ringer? I've only been there a handful of times (playing in beginner divisions). It's fun, for a while, to skate around people and have your way with opposing defenses. It's fun to intimidate an opposing team, to have them fear you. But, at least for me, it gets boring and frustrating not having players you feel comfortable sharing the puck with. Yet again, this is probably less true the higher the level, the more challenge there is. I wouldn't know, I'm an intermediate player playing in an intermediate division.
Whether it's a bore or not, he's not going anywhere. The best defense is probably to find your own Ringer. Last summer we did. It was a great pleasure beating that team with the two ringers and hearing them gripe about our guy. Seriously, of all the teams to complain about ringers, they were the worst offenders. So, they got what was coming to them.
But it made me feel a little dirty. That's just how it goes, I guess.
But there he is. No facemask. Old skates. Tattered gloves. Mismatched old practice sweater. He intercepts a pass. He makes a quick turn away from the first challenger. He streaks up the ice, past your trailing centerman. He is challenged again at the center-line. A quick flick of the wrists and twist of the hips, and he's by the next man. He crosses the blue line, your defensemen converge on him, he winds up his blast from the face-off circle, your goaltender begins his butterfly, he . . . swings a deft pass to the slacker, untalented left wing skating unmolested to the far post, who taps in the open net goal.
He makes bad teams good, mediocre teams great, and good teams advance to the next division. Yes, friends, he's the Ringer. He plays at every level except the top (where they are all Ringers).
When he plays for you, you love him. When he plays against you, you fear him and despise his mates. "Why does he play for them?" "Sweet, he's playing for us tonight." "Isn't he bored?" "He gives us the edge we need." "He's an A player, he shouldn't be here." "Everyone's got one, who are they to complain?"
Now, there are two kinds of ringers. The one brought in for one game, and the one who is on your roster. The former is the more distasteful, to my mind. The latter? Maybe the team is just trying to get better. Of course, if he sticks around long enough and the rest of the team doesn't get any better, the resentment builds.
We play in an intermediate division. There are no true beginners in our league. Most teams have one or two guys who are truly playing below their level. The frustrating thing is that last season's "best" team really wasn't. Instead, they had the best two players, then a bunch of mediocre guys. Although player-for-player, they were probably the 5th best team (out of 6), they only lost 3 games all season. I take pleasure in the fact that in the end, they lost the finals (in a two-game sweep) to the team that really is, player-for-player the best in the league (and has one ringer of their own).
It's frustrating to lose to a team when you're beating most of their guys, but can't beat their best player. When you win with one of these guys, you justify it in one way or another: the reality is there is a range of players at every level. You play with the guys you do because you know and like them. So one guy played in college, one guy played in high school, one guy played shinny on local ponds, and one guy just switched over from a couple of years of roller hockey. That's just how it is. So, "My friend is a really good player. We play together because we're friends."
At lower levels, speed is the difference. A fast player can beat a tripod without much effort. The higher the level the less speed plays a role, the more hands do. Our last true ringer wasn't that fast. Probably five guys on our team were faster, some much faster, but he could make the puck dance, and find the open man or the back of the net with ease. Those are some of the most frustrating ringers. You can keep with them, they don't seem that great, but you just can't pry the puck away, which means you are always standing right there when the goal is scored. At least when they blow by you you know there was nothing you could do.
Love him, hate him, the Ringer is here to stay. If he's on your team, make sure you find open space in front of the opposing net, to give him options when the other team converges on him. When you play against him, get a big early lead to get him bored and frustrated.
What's going on in the mind of the Ringer? I've only been there a handful of times (playing in beginner divisions). It's fun, for a while, to skate around people and have your way with opposing defenses. It's fun to intimidate an opposing team, to have them fear you. But, at least for me, it gets boring and frustrating not having players you feel comfortable sharing the puck with. Yet again, this is probably less true the higher the level, the more challenge there is. I wouldn't know, I'm an intermediate player playing in an intermediate division.
Whether it's a bore or not, he's not going anywhere. The best defense is probably to find your own Ringer. Last summer we did. It was a great pleasure beating that team with the two ringers and hearing them gripe about our guy. Seriously, of all the teams to complain about ringers, they were the worst offenders. So, they got what was coming to them.
But it made me feel a little dirty. That's just how it goes, I guess.
"Girls"
This is the first season we haven't played with or against women. The first rec team I joined played in the beginner division. We had about five women. All of the women on that team were effectively beginners. One decided to practice a slapshot against our teammate's face during the warm-ups for a playoff game. The victim (with whom I still play) skated past the blue-line towards center ice when the slapper ricocheted off his eye socket. Twenty stitches and 5% of his vision later, he wears a cage.
We moved up a division and didn't have any women on our team, but still played against several. Then we moved up another division and we only played against a handful. In this league (an intermediate or, if I'm being kind to myself, advanced-intermediate league) there were two women on one team, and maybe one more on another? That was when the division had ten or eleven teams. With new management taking over and some personnel shake-ups on various teams, this season the team with a pair of women moved down a division, leaving our league estrogen free.
Last summer, with still -- I think -- one woman playing for a team now in the lower division, another woman subbed in for one of the other teams, then for us for a game or two. I met her playing pick-up hockey one Friday night. She's a solid skater, handles the puck well, and plays pretty solid position. On the other hand, she's about 5'2" and not built heavy. Her skill set and size play well in a pick-up game, but playing competively with a bunch of men? We played our summer league with a short bench. A very short bench. I asked her to join us for a game or two. She showed off some skill -- definitely better than a bunch of the guys in our league -- and helped us out.
Turns out she plays NCAA Div-III hockey. This season she was an alternate captain for her team, did her part, leading the team in scoring, and made the all-conference team. The team won their division, and will play in the NCAA Div-III tournament that starts this coming weekend. So she's pretty good in a competitive, if not the top, women's league.
What does this all mean? Several of the guys on our team would've been stars if they were women (or underwent "gender reassignment" surgery . . .)
More thoughts:
Women in the culture? We'd likely have to cut down on the off-color humor in the dressing room or the parking lot. Most hockey-playing women probably don't mind, but the men do. Got to pretend there's a minimum level of decency (there isn't).
Women in the locker room? I've played with some that changed in the locker room, going all the way down to the birthday suit. Most came dressed in some form of underclothing that they could keep on. There was the "turn to face the wall" when changing bras. Not sure how effective that was. Yeah, it's not a full frontal shot of "the girls," but it's not like you don't see them. The men? Try to be a little more subtle when stripping down for the shower, but still took showers, leaving it up to the women not to get caught staring. Never saw a woman hop in the shower in a co-ed locker room. On the other hand, they don't sweat, right?
Playing against women? Our team is pretty agressive along the boards for a "non-checking" league. Any different when playing a woman? Got to say yes. Maybe we shouldn't be, but the chivilrous (chauvanistic?) part of me says to pull up rather than grinding the woman out on the boards. If you do take her out, you answer for it on the bench. Then, when a woman beats you, especially if it's by going through you, you never hear the end of it. Good times.
We moved up a division and didn't have any women on our team, but still played against several. Then we moved up another division and we only played against a handful. In this league (an intermediate or, if I'm being kind to myself, advanced-intermediate league) there were two women on one team, and maybe one more on another? That was when the division had ten or eleven teams. With new management taking over and some personnel shake-ups on various teams, this season the team with a pair of women moved down a division, leaving our league estrogen free.
Last summer, with still -- I think -- one woman playing for a team now in the lower division, another woman subbed in for one of the other teams, then for us for a game or two. I met her playing pick-up hockey one Friday night. She's a solid skater, handles the puck well, and plays pretty solid position. On the other hand, she's about 5'2" and not built heavy. Her skill set and size play well in a pick-up game, but playing competively with a bunch of men? We played our summer league with a short bench. A very short bench. I asked her to join us for a game or two. She showed off some skill -- definitely better than a bunch of the guys in our league -- and helped us out.
Turns out she plays NCAA Div-III hockey. This season she was an alternate captain for her team, did her part, leading the team in scoring, and made the all-conference team. The team won their division, and will play in the NCAA Div-III tournament that starts this coming weekend. So she's pretty good in a competitive, if not the top, women's league.
What does this all mean? Several of the guys on our team would've been stars if they were women (or underwent "gender reassignment" surgery . . .)
More thoughts:
Women in the culture? We'd likely have to cut down on the off-color humor in the dressing room or the parking lot. Most hockey-playing women probably don't mind, but the men do. Got to pretend there's a minimum level of decency (there isn't).
Women in the locker room? I've played with some that changed in the locker room, going all the way down to the birthday suit. Most came dressed in some form of underclothing that they could keep on. There was the "turn to face the wall" when changing bras. Not sure how effective that was. Yeah, it's not a full frontal shot of "the girls," but it's not like you don't see them. The men? Try to be a little more subtle when stripping down for the shower, but still took showers, leaving it up to the women not to get caught staring. Never saw a woman hop in the shower in a co-ed locker room. On the other hand, they don't sweat, right?
Playing against women? Our team is pretty agressive along the boards for a "non-checking" league. Any different when playing a woman? Got to say yes. Maybe we shouldn't be, but the chivilrous (chauvanistic?) part of me says to pull up rather than grinding the woman out on the boards. If you do take her out, you answer for it on the bench. Then, when a woman beats you, especially if it's by going through you, you never hear the end of it. Good times.
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