The Goalie Is Late: Protocol
It happens. Family things come up. Traffic. Work. Whatever. Sometimes your goalie is late.
First, check the locker rooms to see if someone who just came off is willing to play for a few more minutes (often someone will stand up). Sometimes that doesn't work.
Ok, so your guy is in the dressing room, but no one's there to help out.
(1) Call a timeout before the first face off. That will give you an extra 1:30 or so.
(2) The other team should call a timeout, too. First, because goals scored against no goalie are suspect, and second because it isn't much fun playing against a goalie-less team because you feel like a chump if you're actually trying to score (and you basically are).
(3) Still waiting, both timeouts burned, gotta get a sixth guy out there. Now, don't have him skate like an extra attacker. If you do, you deserve every goal scored against you (and if you're the other team, put in a couple of empty-netters if that's how their going to play it).
(4) Get as many stoppages of play as possible. Ice the puck. Take it in offsides on purpose (but not too obviously or you'll get the faceoff down where you have no goalie). You've gotta burn time for your guy to get dressed and get out there.
Now, what about the other team? We've already covered taking their timeout. What about shooting? The opposition has a skater playing goal, so you've got to back off a little, but how much? Well, taking slappers from the point seems right out. Seriously.
I was the sixth guy the other night, and I stopped two slapshots. One in the chest (note: my shoulder pads "chest protector" was not designed as a goalie's chest protector), one a "blocker" save. But come on, guys, was that really necessary? How about trying to work it down low and get a decent wrister off?
And look, if you see the goalie waiting for a whistle, regardless of which team you're on, get the whistle. It's not cool to exploit the lack of a goaltender, and if you're the team playing with the sixth guy, it's not cool for the sixth guy.
Anyway . . . some etiquette to think about.
First, check the locker rooms to see if someone who just came off is willing to play for a few more minutes (often someone will stand up). Sometimes that doesn't work.
Ok, so your guy is in the dressing room, but no one's there to help out.
(1) Call a timeout before the first face off. That will give you an extra 1:30 or so.
(2) The other team should call a timeout, too. First, because goals scored against no goalie are suspect, and second because it isn't much fun playing against a goalie-less team because you feel like a chump if you're actually trying to score (and you basically are).
(3) Still waiting, both timeouts burned, gotta get a sixth guy out there. Now, don't have him skate like an extra attacker. If you do, you deserve every goal scored against you (and if you're the other team, put in a couple of empty-netters if that's how their going to play it).
(4) Get as many stoppages of play as possible. Ice the puck. Take it in offsides on purpose (but not too obviously or you'll get the faceoff down where you have no goalie). You've gotta burn time for your guy to get dressed and get out there.
Now, what about the other team? We've already covered taking their timeout. What about shooting? The opposition has a skater playing goal, so you've got to back off a little, but how much? Well, taking slappers from the point seems right out. Seriously.
I was the sixth guy the other night, and I stopped two slapshots. One in the chest (note: my shoulder pads "chest protector" was not designed as a goalie's chest protector), one a "blocker" save. But come on, guys, was that really necessary? How about trying to work it down low and get a decent wrister off?
And look, if you see the goalie waiting for a whistle, regardless of which team you're on, get the whistle. It's not cool to exploit the lack of a goaltender, and if you're the team playing with the sixth guy, it's not cool for the sixth guy.
Anyway . . . some etiquette to think about.
[Bizarre] Rights of Summer
I know this isn't the first time I've mentioned it, but managing summer hockey can really be a pain in the ass. To deal with the comings and goings, we've bumped our roster from 15 (14 skaters and a goalie), to 20 (18 skaters, 2 goalies), and we still struggle to get two full lines. The other night was a microcosm of summer hockey:
3 guys on IR
1 guy on vacation
6 maybes (two showed)
1 guy had to be at work too early for the late game
So with 18 skaters on the roster, we had 9.
One of the goalies had a last minute family commitment, but we couldn't reach the other one. And our backup was out of town, too. So the first came, took an emotional beating from the family, and showed up late.
So we start the game with eight skaters (another was running late) and no goalie. The other team did the right thing and took a timeout (after ours) to start the game. That gave us as much extra time as possible, but it still wasn't enough (and by the way, that's the right thing to do). We finally get a goalie on the ice about 5 minutes in (remarkably without giving up a goal.
At the end of the first period one of our guys needs to drop a load, so he misses the last 5 minutes of the period. Who does he think he is, Manny Ramirez? WTF!?!
On top of it all, for the first time ever, I forgot my skates. I live 25 minutes from the rink, so there was no going home for them. Luckily one of the guys lives close and has an extra pair. His wife drove them over to us and I laced 'em up. They were more or less the right size, but O-L-D! No ankle support left, dull blades, and my skates are rocked a little forward and these weren't. I was like a rookie peewee out there. I couldn't accelerate, couldn't turn, couldn't stop, and could barely skate backwards. Lovely. And I remember thinking as I left my garage, "huh, bag feels a little light tonight." Dumbass. I was one of our three D, so I was out there a bunch. God help me if I make that mistake again.
We won. We were playing a team that isn't as good as us. But it was sloppy throughout.
Ah, summer hockey.
3 guys on IR
1 guy on vacation
6 maybes (two showed)
1 guy had to be at work too early for the late game
So with 18 skaters on the roster, we had 9.
One of the goalies had a last minute family commitment, but we couldn't reach the other one. And our backup was out of town, too. So the first came, took an emotional beating from the family, and showed up late.
So we start the game with eight skaters (another was running late) and no goalie. The other team did the right thing and took a timeout (after ours) to start the game. That gave us as much extra time as possible, but it still wasn't enough (and by the way, that's the right thing to do). We finally get a goalie on the ice about 5 minutes in (remarkably without giving up a goal.
At the end of the first period one of our guys needs to drop a load, so he misses the last 5 minutes of the period. Who does he think he is, Manny Ramirez? WTF!?!
On top of it all, for the first time ever, I forgot my skates. I live 25 minutes from the rink, so there was no going home for them. Luckily one of the guys lives close and has an extra pair. His wife drove them over to us and I laced 'em up. They were more or less the right size, but O-L-D! No ankle support left, dull blades, and my skates are rocked a little forward and these weren't. I was like a rookie peewee out there. I couldn't accelerate, couldn't turn, couldn't stop, and could barely skate backwards. Lovely. And I remember thinking as I left my garage, "huh, bag feels a little light tonight." Dumbass. I was one of our three D, so I was out there a bunch. God help me if I make that mistake again.
We won. We were playing a team that isn't as good as us. But it was sloppy throughout.
Ah, summer hockey.
Cage vs. Shield?
So, I'm on record opposing the half-shield; it's a good way to get your jaw broken, lose a tooth, or even get a nasty eye wound. It's better than nothing, but worse than reason. Anyway, that's not the point. I was watching some of the NCAA hockey tournament and I got to thinking, what ever happened to the full shield? That's what all the college players wore back in the early 90s. The cage was considered old and clunky. Now you rarely see a full shield, and the college kids are all back to the cage. What happened there?
The Guys
I suspect most rosters look a lot like ours (guys often fill more than one of these roles):
Old Man River: skills are fading, but he's a good dude and no one wants to see him go. Maybe not so good for the penalty kill, but great for a beer in the parking lot. Seriously, it's rec hockey; what's more important?
The Kid: Hockey players are a little crazy as a rule, and the Kid is always the craziest. No one remembers having quite as much fun as he claims when they were young and single, but he has fresh legs and talent, so a little crazy won't hurt anyone.
Meathead: "Let's play some #@!&ing hockey!" Sure buddy, but you'd play a lot more if you didn't spend so much time in the box.
Canadian: For US rec teams, you gotta have a Canadian, better yet, a French Canadian. Ok, or a Czech, or a Russian, or a Swede. Somebody from one of those hockey playin' countries. At least Minnesota. Maybe he's not a ringer, but he's good . . . and a little off.
Flaky Star: when he's there, he's money. Problem is he isn't always there. Normally has a temper, too.
Captain Serious: the rec hockey captain who takes everything too seriously. He's not a great player, but he organizes things, so you're happy to have him. But seriously, guy, we're not going to learn the breakout without practicing, and that's not happening any time soon. Might go so far as to write an occasional blog post about hockey.
Crazy Goalie: they're all different . . . and they're all a little off in one way or another. But worldwide they have the same name: Crazy Goalie.
Glory Seeker: This guy wants to bury the puck and will do anything in his power to do so . . . as long as it doesn't include passing to a teammate.
Quiet Hero: solid, team player, scores, passes, plays defense. Keeps his mouth shut. Broods when things are going badly.
The Fuse: good player, libel to explode in rage at any moment. Sometimes it's a long fuse, sometimes it's short, but when it goes? Look out.
Rink Rat: plays for you, plays for them, plays for some other guys, too. Just likes to play. The secret? No wife or kids.
Late Skate McGee: You mean I'm supposed to be here in time for the warm-ups? Please.
The Drinker: we all have a beer after the game, but this guy doesn't stop at one. In fact, you wonder if he stops at four, but you're rarely around late enough to find out
The Mouth: quick to let you know what you're doing wrong. That's not to say that he's doing it right, just that you're doing it wrong.
The Big Defenseman: maybe he has skills, maybe not, but he's big, and he'll run you over if you come near his crease.
The Instigator: maybe he's the Fuse, but often not; he's pesky in the corners at all times. When you're playing against him he's irritating. Sometimes enough to take a dumb penalty just to vent some frustration.
Just Happy to be Here: shows up, plays hockey, drinks a beer. What, you need more than that?
Old Man River: skills are fading, but he's a good dude and no one wants to see him go. Maybe not so good for the penalty kill, but great for a beer in the parking lot. Seriously, it's rec hockey; what's more important?
The Kid: Hockey players are a little crazy as a rule, and the Kid is always the craziest. No one remembers having quite as much fun as he claims when they were young and single, but he has fresh legs and talent, so a little crazy won't hurt anyone.
Meathead: "Let's play some #@!&ing hockey!" Sure buddy, but you'd play a lot more if you didn't spend so much time in the box.
Canadian: For US rec teams, you gotta have a Canadian, better yet, a French Canadian. Ok, or a Czech, or a Russian, or a Swede. Somebody from one of those hockey playin' countries. At least Minnesota. Maybe he's not a ringer, but he's good . . . and a little off.
Flaky Star: when he's there, he's money. Problem is he isn't always there. Normally has a temper, too.
Captain Serious: the rec hockey captain who takes everything too seriously. He's not a great player, but he organizes things, so you're happy to have him. But seriously, guy, we're not going to learn the breakout without practicing, and that's not happening any time soon. Might go so far as to write an occasional blog post about hockey.
Crazy Goalie: they're all different . . . and they're all a little off in one way or another. But worldwide they have the same name: Crazy Goalie.
Glory Seeker: This guy wants to bury the puck and will do anything in his power to do so . . . as long as it doesn't include passing to a teammate.
Quiet Hero: solid, team player, scores, passes, plays defense. Keeps his mouth shut. Broods when things are going badly.
The Fuse: good player, libel to explode in rage at any moment. Sometimes it's a long fuse, sometimes it's short, but when it goes? Look out.
Rink Rat: plays for you, plays for them, plays for some other guys, too. Just likes to play. The secret? No wife or kids.
Late Skate McGee: You mean I'm supposed to be here in time for the warm-ups? Please.
The Drinker: we all have a beer after the game, but this guy doesn't stop at one. In fact, you wonder if he stops at four, but you're rarely around late enough to find out
The Mouth: quick to let you know what you're doing wrong. That's not to say that he's doing it right, just that you're doing it wrong.
The Big Defenseman: maybe he has skills, maybe not, but he's big, and he'll run you over if you come near his crease.
The Instigator: maybe he's the Fuse, but often not; he's pesky in the corners at all times. When you're playing against him he's irritating. Sometimes enough to take a dumb penalty just to vent some frustration.
Just Happy to be Here: shows up, plays hockey, drinks a beer. What, you need more than that?
Playoffs!
There was a time my team was cursed. We went five seasons in a row without winning a playoff game. In four of those five years we finished towards the middle of the pack, so played another middle of the pack team. The fifth year we sucked, so losing to a much higher seed was no surprise.
Was our mentality wrong? Our defense too soft? Who knows. I remember one of those years we thoroughly outplayed our opponent. On the way to the parking lot after the game one of their guys says to me, "we were just waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never did." No kidding.
Whatever the problem, last year we finally won a playoff game. It wasn't the panacea -- we lost our second game to "the ringer" -- but maybe it was a breakthrough. We won our summer league, winning a 1-goal game, then a shootout in the semi-final (a game we never led, if I remember correctly), a shootout in the first game of the finals (13-shots per side in the shootout; another game we never led), and a 1-goal game to finish it (our league plays a 3-game finals).
Well, it's time for the playoffs again. We finished middle of the pack again, so face another team we're right in the middle with. We were 2-0-1 against them (2-1-1 if you count the "preseason") during the season, but they scare me. They can score in bunches whereas our team has a nasty habit of going through long scoring droughts.
On top of that, we'll have everyone there, which almost never happens. So we have to run through an almost overfull bench (14 skaters: 5 D and 3 forward lines). This has only happened once all season, and we lost that game. To an inferior team.
So we're mostly in our 30s and 40s, but we're getting all psyched up for a rec-hockey playoff game. Good times.
Was our mentality wrong? Our defense too soft? Who knows. I remember one of those years we thoroughly outplayed our opponent. On the way to the parking lot after the game one of their guys says to me, "we were just waiting for the shoe to drop, but it never did." No kidding.
Whatever the problem, last year we finally won a playoff game. It wasn't the panacea -- we lost our second game to "the ringer" -- but maybe it was a breakthrough. We won our summer league, winning a 1-goal game, then a shootout in the semi-final (a game we never led, if I remember correctly), a shootout in the first game of the finals (13-shots per side in the shootout; another game we never led), and a 1-goal game to finish it (our league plays a 3-game finals).
Well, it's time for the playoffs again. We finished middle of the pack again, so face another team we're right in the middle with. We were 2-0-1 against them (2-1-1 if you count the "preseason") during the season, but they scare me. They can score in bunches whereas our team has a nasty habit of going through long scoring droughts.
On top of that, we'll have everyone there, which almost never happens. So we have to run through an almost overfull bench (14 skaters: 5 D and 3 forward lines). This has only happened once all season, and we lost that game. To an inferior team.
So we're mostly in our 30s and 40s, but we're getting all psyched up for a rec-hockey playoff game. Good times.
Don't Rub It In
Blowouts. Nasty when you're on the receiving end of one. Just as bad to deliver it? Every time my team has taken someone to the woodshed in the last few years we've been rewarded for it with a terrible run for the next few games. It's regular as clockwork: crush someone, serve a kharmic penalty. Or is it that in scoring all those goals we blew our wad? Does it ratchet up our confidence too high? Whatever it is, it sucks.
I'm not talking a 5-1 convincing win. I'm talking a thrashing: 8-1, 10-2. Real blowouts. The kind of game where everyone just wants it over with about 10 minutes to play. You worry about fights. You worry about injuries. You worry about people thinking you guys are jerks for running up the score.
It happened to us again this season. We're 4-2-1, playing the worst team in the division and we break out a can of whup-ass. It didn't actually feel like we were outplaying them that badly, but I guess we were. It went into the record books as a 9-1 shellacking, and to be honest, the one goal didn't go in the net (I was standing right there; it wasn't in). So now we're 5-2-1. What happens next? Scoring drought. Six atrocious, painful, bloody games without a win and with precious few goals. Thank goodness we managed a come-from-behind 4-4 tie and another 1-1 tie. 0-4-2. Brutal.
At the end of the stretch we again faced the team we'd blown out 7 games before. In the meantime they began to get a little better (winning their first two games of the season). Instead of another blowout, we won a close game. And our kharma came back. We're playing decent hockey again.
The question remains: at some point you know it's a blowout; what do you do to prevent the inevitable slide? Stop shooting?
I'm not talking a 5-1 convincing win. I'm talking a thrashing: 8-1, 10-2. Real blowouts. The kind of game where everyone just wants it over with about 10 minutes to play. You worry about fights. You worry about injuries. You worry about people thinking you guys are jerks for running up the score.
It happened to us again this season. We're 4-2-1, playing the worst team in the division and we break out a can of whup-ass. It didn't actually feel like we were outplaying them that badly, but I guess we were. It went into the record books as a 9-1 shellacking, and to be honest, the one goal didn't go in the net (I was standing right there; it wasn't in). So now we're 5-2-1. What happens next? Scoring drought. Six atrocious, painful, bloody games without a win and with precious few goals. Thank goodness we managed a come-from-behind 4-4 tie and another 1-1 tie. 0-4-2. Brutal.
At the end of the stretch we again faced the team we'd blown out 7 games before. In the meantime they began to get a little better (winning their first two games of the season). Instead of another blowout, we won a close game. And our kharma came back. We're playing decent hockey again.
The question remains: at some point you know it's a blowout; what do you do to prevent the inevitable slide? Stop shooting?
Pond Hockey? Not Here.
Been away from this little project for a while, but figured I'd populate it with some good stuff friends have sent me.
Next week is the US Pond Hockey Championships in Minnesota. Now, there are days I'm jealous of guys walking their skates to the local pond to lace-up and play a quick game of shinny. Then there are days like today, January 16th, where I look out my office window at a gorgeous day in the 50s, without a cloud in the sky, a calm San Francisco Bay, and look forward to riding my bike back to the train station to head home at the end of the work day.
But someday I'll get to the Pond Hockey championships. Sounds like fun.
Next week is the US Pond Hockey Championships in Minnesota. Now, there are days I'm jealous of guys walking their skates to the local pond to lace-up and play a quick game of shinny. Then there are days like today, January 16th, where I look out my office window at a gorgeous day in the 50s, without a cloud in the sky, a calm San Francisco Bay, and look forward to riding my bike back to the train station to head home at the end of the work day.
But someday I'll get to the Pond Hockey championships. Sounds like fun.
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