Eric, the Mad Ref

Game time: naturally, the worst pair of refs in the league. Older guy with glasses. Tries hard, but seems to mess stuff up a lot. Likes the off-setting penalty when someone gets frisky. Doesn't matter too much if the other guy retaliates, chances are, you're both going. But hey, we're not exactly NHL players ourselves. So a little bad reffing, while deserving of some ribbing, isn't the end of the world.

The other ref is the "Ref with the half-shield," Eric. Didn't recognize him before this year (when the league "upgraded" refs). He's called about 8 of our games, and he's awful. His rule, apparently, is if someone falls, there's a penalty, and when in doubt, call something. Except (and it's a big exception), despite the leagues efforts to install the new, tighter called USA hockey rules for interference, he's decided the crease/slot is a "penalty-free" zone. Did I mention he is inconsistent on the blue-lines, calls off-sides based on team reactions, and routinely waves off icing where it will help the icing team?

The bad guys are scrappy in front of the net, and the referees are letting them do it: remember, the "penalty-free" zone? One of our guys, who's missed probably 7 of our 11 games so far including the last three -- so he's itching to skate -- is getting man-handled in there. Early in the second period, he gets drilled in the back while in their crease. The goaltender (our old one) covers up, and there's a whistle. Naturally, our guy gives a hard shove to the defenseman who just cross-checked him.

Tweet!! 2-minutes for roughing. Our guy is pissed. Really pissed. So he mouths off to Eric, the ref who made the call. And he won't let it go. All the way to the box he's yapping away. When he gets there: Tweet!! 2 more minutes for unsportsmanlike (good call). And our guy loses it. Now he's about to fight the ref. Hmmm. Not the recommended technique. Now he's gone: game misconduct (deserved). He slams the penalty box shut, he slams the door to the rink shut, and he starts swinging his stick wildly to break it. Thing is, it's not breaking, which just pisses him off even more. Finally, it snaps, and he's off to the locker room . . . oops. No key. It's still on our bench. What to do? He can't come back on the ice for it, and has his skates on, so can't walk around the concrete behind the rink to get it. Somehow it works out (I was on the ice, so I'm not sure), and he's gone.

Back to the game. Down 2-0, shorthanded for 4 minutes on our guy's double minor that came before his game misconduct, and things aren't looking good.

Note: Eric still messed this up. First, it all started because he apparently thought cross-checking in the slot is legal. The other team's goaltender shares my skepticism, as he told us over beers in the parking lot: "Your guy was just getting abused in there. I couldn't believe he got that call." Second, the call was: 2 for roughing; 2 for unsportsmanlike; game misconduct for unsportsmanlike. Each minor penalty was worth 2 minutes, but hockey nerds, write this down: the game-misconduct carries an additional automatic 5-minute major. Eric, not knowing the rules, didn't assess it (thankfully).

The guy who got tossed? His girlfriend is in the stands. Between periods she says she overheard Eric saying he wasn't going to call a penalty for any of the cross-checks because he thinks our guy dives too much. Nice.

With 1:40 to play in the game, we have a 2-1 breakaway. I come into their zone with my wing carrying the puck. He takes a shot on net, which the goaltender covers as I skate by. The defenseman takes a run at me and very clearly "interferes" with me. As I'm hurtling towards the boards with this guy riding me in, I dig my skates into the ice, lower my shoulder, give him a shove, and drop the guy. Whistle. 2 for interference on him. The ref who blew the whistle is about to drop the puck when Eric tells me I'm going, too, for roughing. Now, I gave the guy a shove, and landed on top of him, so it was a reasonable call, but I was upset about the heretofore uncalled interference, so, in my best nicey-nicey I'm -the-team-captain-and-have-a-right-to-know voice, ask Eric, "what did you see that was roughing?" "I thought I might have seen you try to punch him." Ah -- since he thought he might have seen something, must have been the other ref that made the call. I skate quietly to the box and finish the game there.

After the game, I ask the other guy, "hey, you called a good game (which was sort of true), what did you see me do that was roughing?" "Oh, I didn't see anything. Eric made the call." Eric is off the ice now, but next to the stairs leading down to our locker room. "What did you see that you thought was roughing?" Same "I thought you maybe . . ." response. So I laugh to myself, tell him he's watching a different game than we're playing, and keep laughing loud enough for him to hear it as I head down the stairs. Cocky and uncalled for? Sure. I get 3/4 of the way down, and he decides to chase after me, yelling at me. We exchange pleasantries, such as me telling him (again) that he's the worst ref in the league, by far. He tells me that he hates calling my team's games -- they are his least favorite. And his parting shot is, "the irony is I was trying to help you guys at the end." Nice. Note to refs: don't try to "help" a team. Know the rules, and call what you see.

So, I sent my second email of the year off to the league chief asking the Eric not call our games anymore. Of course he's got a league to run, so he'll ignore it, and Eric will still be there. Oh well. There's sure to be more from Eric the Mad Ref before the season is over.

Note: my teammates tell me it did look like I punched the guy on the way down. I know I didn't, but I did give him a shove, and I guess it did look bad. Now here's my point. If that's what Eric saw, then he should say so, not "I think you might . . ." There's no penalty for "I think you might . . ."